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[p01] THE lives of malefactors, in general, are prefaced with a strong outline of their birth, parentage, and education, with other peculiar circumstances belonging to them. As for instance, A. B. was born in the parish of _____, in the county of _____, of reputable and genteel parents; but, falling early in life into [p02] bad company, both of wicked men and lewd women, he contracted habits which ultimately _______

[p03] I shall not descant on the virtues and superior excellence of my parents. They were well known to the world; and let their characters speak for them. I shall only state with great brevity what I knew of, and experienced from, them.

My father served in three parliaments, and was one of those respectable, independant, old English characters in the House of Commons, called Country Gentlemen; who formerly had a considerable influence with the Ministers, and to whose judgments and opinions every Minister paid the greatest respect. They were disinterested, honest men, who had no selfish views, and performed their duty to their constituents unbiassed by any party. I wish from my heart the case was the same in the present day. But I lament that, with nine in ten, the [p04] difference is very great indeed; for which an opulent country gentleman, who never has known London but for a short time together, and solely on his own private business, is chosen member for a county or a great town, he takes a house for the winter, comes to London, and being elected a parliament man, becomes parliament mad!

Now there are two blessings, which, in the nature of things, will be sure to attend him.

First, his wife, for certain, makes him a cuckold. -- But more of that hereafter: and,

Secondly, instead of doing his duty to his constituents, independent of any party or prejudice, he allies himself to some [p05] one faction or other; and, if the faction which he joins, should chuse to be of opinion that beans and pease are bacon, he gives his assenting voice, and endeavours, wherever he goes, to prove, that beans and peas may be bacon, although they are not positively hog's flesh. As he must join one party or the other, the most prudent step for him to take in these times, is, to join Administration: for, although they want no addition to their forces, yet, I dare say, on his leaving London, after having given a whole winter's specimen of his sincerity, the Minister would not refuse making a seventh cousin of his affectionate and loving wife an Ensign of Fencibles.

He now returns to his country-seat, where he amuses his brother-foxhunters with descanting on the political frugality [p06] of the Minister, the justness and holiness of the war, or the affluence and extent of our trade and commerce. If on the other side, he exclaims against the enormous expenditure of public money, the barbarous massacre of human lives, and the horrid effusion of human blood; the pressure of the taxes, the accumulation of the national debt, and the corruption of the times.

His affectionate wife, to play her part with some eclat, astonishes the natives at the county race-ball, on appearing with black eyebrows, a flaxen wig, and half naked, in the London fashion. She invites her gallant to visit her in the country, who generally brings some friend with him to entertain her sister or female confidante. If an officer, he brings a recruiting party into the neighbourhood. [p07] The drum and fife delight the servants. The grenadier-serjeant and corporal dance with and make love to the maids in the hall, whilst the Captain and his friend are doing their best to amuse the ladies in the drawing-room. Poor, hospitable Bazil, all this time, smokes his pipe, drinks his bottle, entertains his country friends in the parlour with his winter campaign in parliament; while the Captain, who eats his venison and drinks his wine, that he may not be wanting in gratitude, intrigues with his wife. At the end of the summer, the servant-maids have danced themselves into a dropsy with the serjeant and corporal, and retire to their relations to be cured; and the sister, or female confidante, goes on a visit for a few months to some distant relation, either in Scotland or Wales. -- Thus passes the summer campaign.

[p08] My father never solicited a place; and I am confident he never received a bribe. He purchased the commissions his sons had, during his life: one for my brother, the present Lord Coleraine, in the blue horse, and my own in the guards: both of which I make no doubt but he might have had given him, if he had asked for them, as he was a strenuous supporter of the King and the Constitution, though not blindly devoted to the Minister. He was affluent and independent in point of fortune, and had honest pride enough to keep himself so. To conclude my account of him, I believe from my heart he was as honest a man as ever stepped in leathern shoe.

[p09] In my mother I have experienced a most affectionate, kind, and tender parent. And thus much for my parentage.

I shall proceed now to my birth, education and transition through life. I was born at my father's country-seat, in the best bed in the state-room, according to ancient custom. Whether I came headforemost or not into the world, or whether I was born with teeth in my gums, or with hair on my head, it will not be expected that I should determine, having no other record to go by than a treacherous memory: but I am inclined to believe, if I may judge from the length of my nose, that at my birth the midwife committed some indignity to my person. I can, however, assure the reader, that since my godfather and godmother have been released from their baptismal duty, and I have taken upon myself the charge of my own sacred person, I never have been pulled by the nose, or been compelled to soap it.

[p10] Many gentlemen of distinguished rank in this country are indebted to the protecting qualities of soap for the present enjoyment of their noses, it being as difficult to hold a soaped nose between the fingers, as it is for a countryman, at a country wake, to catch a pig turned out with his tail soaped and shaved for the amusement of the spectators.

I was early introduced into life, and often kept both good and bad company; associated with men both good and bad, and with lewd women, and women not lewd, wicked and not wicked; -- in short, with men and women of every description, and of every rank, from the highest to the lowest, from St. James's to St. Giles's; in palaces and night cellars; from the drawing-room to the dust cart. The difficulties and misfortunes [p11] I have experienced, I am inclined to think, have proceeded from none of the above mentioned causes, but, from happening to come into life at a period of the greatest extravagance and profusion. Human nature is in general frail, and mine I confess has been wonderfully so: I could not stand the temptations of that age of extravagance, elegance and pleasure: indeed, I am not the only sufferer, for most of my contemporaries, and many of ten times my opulence, have been ruined.

Besides, money was in those days in such plenty, and the money lenders had such implicit faith, that any person of tolerable good character had it for asking for: no writings were ever drawn; and millions were lent upon simple bond and judgment. This made it then much more [p12] easy and convenient for a gentleman to ruin himself, then at present. In these days of difficulty and obstruction, it requires considerable ingenuity and perseverance; for, with the best security in the world, a man may wear out ten pair of shoes before he can borrow five hundred pounds; and then must wait a month for the writing to be drawn and approved: in short, for all the wearing and tearing of legal delay.

I was first sent to school at Reading, in Berkshire; and I beg my friends to believe me, when I tell them that I was a very idle boy, and never could be induced to look into a book until it was forced under the shadow of my nose in the school room: the consequence was, that the tyrannic demagogue, my master, was used to beat me with such cruelty, that, [p13] on the kind representation of my brothers, I was removed from such a scene of barbarous discipline. This tyrant did but seldom use the rod; his favourite instrument was a long rattan cane, big enough to correct a culprit in Bridewell. But this was not all: the savage used to refine on his punishment, and to gratify his infernal feelings by varying the modes of it. The shrieks of the boys who were writhing beneath his blows, were music to his soul. But to the proof:

When ever he found out that two of the big boys had been fighting, he caused them to strip to their shirts in the public school-room: he then gave to each a large bending rattan cane, about three feet long, and ordered them to strike at each other with all their force; while he presided [p14] with a similar weapon, and whenever there appeared to be a relaxation of activity in either of the unwilling combatants, he compelled them by his own violent strokes to renew theirs.

I declare to God, that I have seen wales on the sides, ribs, and arms of boys, of the bigness of my finger. This brute, had he been master of Westminster or Eton, would, in less than a fortnight, have been tossed in a blanket by the upper boys. The fellow had also another pleasant amusement: if a boy had not washed his face very clean, he used to have it rubbed with the coarsest horse-hair cloth that could be made. Some years after, when at Eton school, and a very big boy, I have often wished to be sent to Reading again, that I might [p15] have had the satisfaction of soundly threshing the brutal pedagogue. I declare, on my honour, were a schoolmaster to inflict such punishment on a child of mine, I would cudgel him as long as I could stand over him. A child of mine!!!!! Yes -- a child of mine shall be treated in a different manner: instead of correcting him when he fights, his tutor shall be ordered to give him a crown every battle he delivers, and half-a-guinea if he is victorious in the combat: and should he beat a boy much bigger and older than himself, he shall receive a guinea. Yet at the same time he shall not be encouraged to fight for the sake of the money to be awarded him, but only to resent injuries. Such principles, instilled into him at an early age, I am convinced will teach him, in maturer life, to resent insults [p16] with a proper spirit, but will not by any means dispose him to be quarrelsome. Take two boys of equal age and equal dispositions: let the one be kept under the master's eye and never out of his sight: forbid him positively to fight, and let all those who strike or insult him be punished severely: let the other mix with his school-fellows, and, if struck or insulted, resent the injury by instantly delivering battle: -- the former will contract tyrannical and cowardly habits, which will accompany and disgrace him through life; and the latter will be bold and liberal, but by no means more quarrelsome than his neighbours. Such characters as the former have I seen even at Eton; -- they were proud, insolent, and cowardly; and have continued so to the present hour, without any alteration but what years have made in them.

[p17] From Reading I was sent to the Rev. Mr. Fountain's, at Mary-le-bone; the present Doctor Fountain was under-master to his father. This was certainly the best school for little boys that ever was. They were treated with the utmost kindness and attention; and with proper correction, but only when it appeared to be absolutely necessary. Mrs. Fountain was the best and most attentive of women to the small boys; she had them every morning in her own room, and made them learn their lesson to her, which prepared them before they went into the school-room to the Doctor. She used to coax them to learn by giving them biscuits and milk, and shewing them various other kindnesses. She might rather be considered as a mother than a schoolmistress to the children under her care. Whatever I learned was from kind and gentle [p18] treatment; for beating would not go down with me. A kind word, and my lesson explained to me, had more effect than all the sticks and rods in Christendom; for I was bold and daring even at that early age.

Before I quit my worthy friends, the Fountains, whom I shall never cease to remember with regard, I must relate a very ludicrous scene between me and the celebrated French tooth-drawer, (or dentist, as I suppose he must now be called,) Monsieur Laudomier, who used to attend at certain times in the course of the year, to examine the boys' teeth, and take out such as were defective. He had drawn out one of mine, which gave me great pain; and wanted to draw another, a ceremony which I did not approve: but the more teeth he drew, the more guineas in his pocket. [p19] Perceiving, however, that I was resolute, and would not consent to a repetition of his operation, he endeavoured to play me a trick, by concealing his instrument in his handkerchief. He accordingly prevailed on me to open my mouth, that he might feel with his finger and thumb whether the tooth was loose or not; but the moment he got his thumb on my under jaw, he attempted to hold my mouth open by force, and had nearly fixed the instrument on my tooth; but I gave him a violent kick on the shins, which rather deranged him, and at the same instant caught his thumb fast between my teeth, and gave him a small item to remember me as long as he lived. I then ran off, leaving him jumping about the room, from excessive pain; and I shall probably be believed when I assert that he never [p20] after that attempted to draw any teeth of mine.

From Mary-le-bone I went to Eton, where I really made considerable progress in my learning; and, by the time I got into the fifth form, I was a very tolerable Latin scholar, and could construe most books with sufficient readiness. But I took a most decided aversion to the Greek language, and never would learn it.

My studies, however, after some time, had a different direction; for, from the moment I came into the fifth form, I studied every thing but my book. My hours out of school in the day were employed in the sports of the field, being already very fond of my dog and gun. By [p21] night, game of another kind engrossed my whole attention. At that early period I had a most decided preference for female society, and passed as much time in the company of women as I have ever done since. A carpenter's wife was the first object of my early affections; nor can I well express the nature of my obligations to her. Frequently have I risked breaking my neck in getting over the roof of my boarding house at night, to pass a few hours with some favourite grizette of Windsor. During the latter part of my time at Eton, to perfect my education, I became attached to, and was much enamoured of the daughter of a vender of cabbages. Ovid's Epistles were totally laid aside for his Art of Love, in which we made a very considerable progress. The big boys had a very wicked custom every Sunday of resorting to Castle prayers [p22] at Windsor; not to seek the Lord, but to seek the enamoratas who constantly and diligently attended to receive our devotions. Besides, in summer time, it was our custom to walk in the public promenade in the Little Park. My father lived only six miles from Windsor, and consequently I was as well known to every family in that town, and neighbourhood, as the king himself; but, notwithstanding this, I constantly walked with some fair frail one arm in arm, with as much sang froid as I now would walk in Kensington Gardens with a beautiful woman.

There is no occasion for me to confess all the atrocious sins committed by me at this period, in sanctified as well as unsanctified places; for I solemnly declare that I have most truly repented of such scandalous crimes, and have ever reason [p23] to believe that my forgiveness is sealed, although I have not been favoured with absolution from the Pope: nor, were I ever so penitent, is it likely that he would order a general thanksgiving for my repentance, although a former Pope did order one in consequence of the murder of many thousand Protestants on St. Bartholomew's day. Boys commit sins from incoherent giddiness and want of reflection, which they would scorn to perpetrate at a more mature age of improved knowledge. I declare to God, I would sooner cut my hand off than repeat such offenses. Although our divines may have no sins of their own which cry for pardon, yet I shall not request them to spend their time so unprofitably as in praying for mine to be forgiven, having reserved that task to myself. Nay, I trust that even the most [p24] antiquated, regenerated, and pious Whitfieldite beldams, too old and ugly to have carnal temptations to sin any more, will attribute those crimes to giddy unreflecting youth, and not be too censorious; for, to use the words of Mother Cole, I myself, as well as they, am new-born.

I made one in the great rebellion, under Dr. Foster, though only in the lower part of the fourth form. Foster was only a schoolmaster. In Dr. Barnard's time, such discontent never would have taken place: he was a gentleman as well as a scholar, and knew well how to make the boys both obey and love him. He was well acquainted with human nature, and governed, not by the rod, but by good sense and a knowledge of the passions. We marched to Maidenhead-bridge; when my father, who lived [p25] within one mile of that place, having heard of the business, sent his groom and a horse three different times in the day to take me home. I had pledged my honour to the boys not to leave them, of which I informed my father; and though he was much incensed against me, I steadily adhered to my promise, and never deserted the cause, to support which I had so solemnly pledged myself. Some disgracefully forfeited their honour, and were never after respected whilst at school; and it yet is an existing blot in their escutcheon of honour. We had also a serious quarrel with the townsmen of Windsor. I was only then in the lower school: but I went up to see the big boys fight; some of whom run away before even a blow was struck, and they have been stamped as cowards from that day to this. Some [p26] few boys I have known to be so timid that they never could be brought to fight even open-handed, and, had they been beat with a lady's thread-paper, would have cried as much as others would have done from an horse-whipping. Those who are cowards at school, ever remain so; age gives experience, but not courage: it is strange, but it is true, that these characters continue to be insolent and overbearing at an advanced period of life; but it is generally to their inferiors, unless they happen to light on some person of consequence who is as noted a coward as themselves; then indeed they are wonderfully bold: but when an inferior has the impudence not to respect their consequence, and resents the injury, sooner than fight, they will make the most abject, mean, and disgraceful apologies. [p27] Such men, as we have daily proofs, are to be found in right honourable families, as well as in the middle ranks of life.

When I left Eton College, I did not go either to Oxford or Cambridge to complete my education, as is customary with most young men. This was a very fortunate circumstance, in which my father shewed his superior judgment. As I had resolved on being a soldier, a German education was best suited to the profession I had chosen. Had I been placed at Oxford or Cambridge, not being of a studious disposition, my health might have suffered from every species of riot and dissipation, which is so prevalent at our universities; and my mind would have remained in the same uncultivated state at my departure as at my arrival, for it is a hundred to one if I had ever [p28] read any literary works except the Sporting Calendar and the Newspaper. I was accordingly sent into Germany, to Gottingen, which is one of the most celebrated universities in the world. The first teachers in every science are to be found there; and public lectures in all branches of learning are delivered by the most experienced and learned professors. But Gottingen is not a proper place, in my opinion, for the character of a young militant (particularly an Englishman). For a soldier, whom no talent, after courage, can recommend so much as the favour of the great world as good-breeding, and elegant and polite manners, is not likely to acquire those fascinating accomplishments from a recluse set of learned professors, whose knowledge extends no further than the lectures they deliver to their pupils. [p29] Such societies are too confined and contracted to improve and expand the mind of a young militant. Whilst studying the memoirs of the great Frederick; while adoring and envying his immortal fame, his tender breast, as yet a stranger to the toils of war, or its hard and dear-earned pittance, pants to acquire inferior honour in the tented field; and anxiously awaits Bellona's solemn call, to meet the winged messenger of death, or share the laurel on the victor's brow.

There is another material deficiency in such seminaries of learning; the society of women of the first manners, fashion, and education, without which no mind can be polished, is wanting. The lovely fair ones contribute more to soften our behavior, and take off our natural [p30] roughness, than all the universities and voluminous libraries in Europe. Twelve months residence, in a polite foreign court, will refine a young man's manners, and bring him nearer to that most desireable and enviable of all characters, a perfect, easy, and fine gentleman, than an age of attendance on the pompous, pedantic, periwigged pride of all the learned doctors of the age, vomiting forth, with volcanic force, streams of Hebrew, Greek, and Latin lava. I would rather sit in company with two or three sensible and well-bred women, than all the Doctor Johnsons that centuries have produced; for a well-bred woman can be guilty of an indelicacy with more grace, than Johnson can put on to present himself before the minister who pensioned him.

[p31] There is another defect in Gottingen. There are generally too many English there, who herd together, and, by always talking their own tongue, never acquire a fluency in that of the country, which can only be obtained by associating with the natives.

After applying myself to mathematics, fortification, and the language, for about twelve months, I quitted Gottingen for Hanover and Hesse Cassel; at which places I spent the rest of the time I remained in Germany, which was three years. At Hanover I had the distinguished honour of being patronized, in every sense most flattering to my feelings, by Prince Charles, our queen's eldest brother, a soldier and high-finished gentleman, to whom I [p32] owe a thousand obligations and friendships; and also by that gallant veteran Field-marshal Sperhen, whose distinguished conduct in the seven years war, under Duke Ferdinand of Brunswick, who commanded the allied army, gained him immortal honour, and the love and respect of all Englishmen. The abilities of this brave and able veteran shone with peculiar splendour on that memorable day when the French army suffered a total defeat on the Plains of Minden, where so many thousands of them bit the dust. In various other successful conflicts with the French he shared the laurels which so justly adorned the brow of that great General, whose military fame Bellona gladly welcomed and approved, while she justly rated him the contemporary rival of the immortal Frederick.

[p33] But the officer with whom I contracted the greatest intimacy, and from whom I received the greatest favour and friendship, was General Freytag. It is not without some degree of vanity that I reflect on a friendship which was formed at so early a period of my life, and lasted to the very hour of his death, which happened about four years ago. This gallant soldier had distinguished himself in the command of a large partizan corps of yagers, hussars, &c. in the seven years war, and is the same Field-marshal Freytag who acted with our troops in Brabant this war, under the command of his royal highness the Duke of York. By the above distinguished character I was introduced to the first nobility in Hanover, and constantly passed my time in the most polite circles. [p34] With the officers I also formed friendships, which have lasted to the present moment.

I was at this time an ensign in the first regiment of British foot-guards; nor could any youth be more attached to his profession than I was. The officers of the Hanoverian guards kindly permitted me to stand in the regiment with them on field days; as did those of the two regiments of light horse. The officers who composed these regiments, had many of them served the whole seven years war in that distinguished corps of hussars commanded by the greatest partizan of the age, General Luckner, who shewed me the same favour, and instructed me also in the discipline of the light cavalry.

[p35] Thus I passed my time with the utmost satisfaction, and was daily learning my profession. I attended all the reviews in that country; and, by letters from officers of distinction to General Saltern, the governor of Magdeburg, I was, through his interest, honoured with permission from the king (the great Frederick) to attend the Prussian reviews near that town. On those extensive plains his majesty reviewed twenty thousand infantry and five thousand cavalry. Every manoeuvre which the fertile mind of the great Frederick could device, was performed by this army, with an accuracy scarcely to be conceived. Two of them attracted my attention above all others. The first was a square, consisting of about six thousand infantry, supposed to be the part of a beaten army retreating over an open plain for many [p36] miles, attacked by five thousand cavalry, in all directions, until they gained the inclosures; when the cavalry desisted from molesting them any further. The second was the five thousand horse, in one line, charging, for above half a mile, with the utmost regularity. The three first charges they attempted to perform did not please his majesty: before they had advanced half way, some small irregularity taking place, which, though ever so trifling, could not pass unnoticed by his all-penetrating eye, an aid-de-camp was dispatched to stop them; they went about three different times, and took up the ground again which they before had occupied. The fourth time they made a rapid and correct charge, with which the king was highly pleased, and sent them his thanks. They halted within fifty yards of his majesty; and the whole line, of so [p37] large a body of horse, was as regularly dressed as I have ever since seen one single regiment. Two-thirds of this body of horse were cuirassiers; those troops, whose praises the king has sung in the elegant poems written by his majesty at Sans Souci. I was favoured with permission to remain in the Prussian camp the whole time of the review, which occupied four days, dining and sleeping in the tent of Colonel Rohr, of the regiment of young Stutterheim, a great favourite of the king, who had served the whole seven years war under his majesty's command. This was a most singular favour conferred on me, and which I am certain was never granted to any other English officer in those days: for it was with the greatest difficulty they could obtain permission, even from a great distance, to see the review, the mounted chasseurs [p38] keeping the ground clear for some miles around. Five thousand cavalry, in one body, is a sight rarely to be viewed in Germany, and what very few British officers ever have seen. The charge they made was beautiful and grand; and the very ground, which was hard and parched by the summer's heat, shook under them.

From Hanover I carried with me letters of recommendation to Hesse Cassel, from the above respectable characters. I was also recommended to General Schluffen, who at that time was minister to his serene highness the Landgrave of Hesse Cassel, by my much respected and ever to be lamented friend, the late Lord Southampton, then General Fitzroy. Between these officers a great intimacy subsisted, from their having both been brother [p39] aid-de-camps to Duke Ferdinand in the seven years war.

Here I made connections in a service in which it was my fate, in a few years, to have the honour of being employed, and to make my debut on the hostile plains of America. Little did I think, when I was first introduced at the court of the distinguished and amiable Prince of Hesse Cassel, that I should ever have the honour of serving in his army.

Hesse Cassel is one of the cleanest and most delightful towns I ever beheld. The new town is built entirely of stone, and, on approaching it from a distance, has a very beautiful and grand appearance.

I shall now, with pleasure, speak of my old companions in war, the Hessian [p40] troops, than whom there are no braver or better disciplined forces in the world. Their discipline is the same as that of the Prussians. In one respect the preference may be given to them, the Hessian regiments being composed all of landes kinder (natives of the country), whereas the Prussians have a great number of foreigners in their battalions. They were both of them in alliance with us in the seven years war, and in that of America, and ever behaved with the greatest gallantry and fidelity, and the most sincere attachment to the cause in which they were engaged.

The brilliant actions which, early in life, distinguished the present Duke of Brunswick, when hereditary prince, then commanding a detached body of troops from the allied army, under the orders of Duke [p41] Ferdinand, in the seven years war, and have established his fame as a soldier, were performed under his command, by the Hessian grenadiers, some British infantry regiments, and Elliot's light dragoons. The reputation of the Hessian grenadiers is too well known to want any eulogium from my pen. In all times, in all places, in every situation, their conduct and valour have distinguished them.

The Landgrave of Hesse Cassel is a powerful prince. His coffers are well stored, his finances well regulated, and his army in the highest state of military discipline. His Serene Highness, whenever he chooses, can bring forty thousand troops into the field, as good as any in all Germany: there cannot be any better appointed, or better disciplined. At this early period of life, I made a particular [p42] acquaintance with that distinguished character, afterwards so well known to, and so much admired and respected by the British army in America, Col. Donop, who died of the wounds he received in gallantly storming Red Bank, in the attack of which fortress so many of the Hessian grenadiers fell. The attempt to take it by storm failed, although some of the Hessian grenadiers were killed in the embrasures.

My early acquaintance with this distinguished character, led me some years after to decide on soliciting the honour of serving in the Hessian troops, when I quitted the first regiment of foot-guards; the cause of which I shall explain at a proper period. Nor can I in this place be silent on circumstances which were a great impediment to me in my [p43] military career, and early desire to see active service.

From my connections at Hanover and at Hesse Cassel, I could have gone in the suite of the young Prince of Brunswick to join the army of Count Romansoff, then serving against the Turks; but as this would have incurred an expence beyond the income my father allowed me, I wrote home to him, to request he would be so kind as to advance me a thousand pounds; with which he refused to comply, not, I believe, for want of generosity, but from the tender love my mother bore me. He stated my youth, and the wretched climate of the country in which I wished to serve. I am convinced it was from parental affection that he refused me; as I assured him, on my honour, that I would repay him, when of age, from the estate [p44] which he held during my minority. I was much mortified at the refusal, being passionately fond of my profession; and I looked on this as a most favourable opportunity to advance me in it. It would certainly have benefited me much, could I have accomplished this object. To the best of my recollection, the young Prince of Brunswick, brother to the present Duke, lost his life with the Russian army. No part of my life has been so pleasant and agreeable as the three years I passed in Germany. I cannot help remarking with what elegance a person of small fortune may live in that country. In England, with a small income, one can scarcely procure necessaries of life. My father allowed me three hundred pounds per annum, which was fully sufficient for all my expenses, and at the end of the year I had always an agreeable overplus.

[p45] I shall give two instances of the cheapness of living and of servants wages. I had an extraordinary good servant, who came every morning at eight o'clock to my apartments, and stayed as late at night as I wished. I only gave him one Louis d'or per month, for wages, board wages, and clothes.

While I remained in any great towns, I always dined at the public table d'Hôte, over which some officer of distinction of the garrison presides. Many military gentlemen resort to it, as well as travellers of the first distinction. The dinner reckoning, inclusive of wine, was about fifteen pence, for which were provided two courses and a desert of pastry: every thing else was as cheap in proportion. The hospitality and the open honest character of the Germans, so attached me to the country, [p46] that when ordered home to join my regiment, I quitted it with much reluctance, and absolutely shed tears on my departure.

I forgot to mention in the proper place, that, when I first went to Germany, my father committed the same error as many other parents have done, by sending a clergyman with me to see me settled at the university of Gottingen. I have the utmost respect for this good man, who took the trouble of travelling so many miles to take care of me; for he discharged his duty with every attention and civility. In my humble opinion, clergymen who have never travelled, but have been immured in schools and within the walls of universities, are very ill calculated indeed to travel with a young militant. Their [p47] knowledge of the dead languages is but of little use to them in the polite circles; and they are as much out of their place at a foreign court, as a dog is in a dancing-school¹. However, it has been much the custom to appoint clergymen in general as bear-leaders to young men who travel.

Two successive summers I went, for a couple of months, to Pyrmont, so well known, throughout Europe, for its waters. This town and surrounding country is the property of the Prince of Waldeck, and is the most beautiful and romantic spot I ever beheld. The walks and rides around it are delightful; and it is resorted to by people of the first distinction from all parts of Germany. I had the honour of receiving the most [p48] distinguished civility and protection from the then reigning Prince of Waldeck, and had the happiness of contracting a considerable intimacy with his highness, who was a most amiable and accomplished gentleman. Pyrmont abounds with variety of amusement, and is one of the pleasantest places I know, to resort to in summer. After passing through that most detestable of all countries, Holland, where a traveller is insulted by every species of extortion, and where gold is worshipped more than the Deity, I took shipping for England, having bid adieu to it in the language of Voltaire -- Adieu Canneau, Canard, Canetaille!

Whoever passes through this country, when they come to an inn should always order dinner and supper at so much per head: then they cannot be imposed on [p49] much, as the price of wine is well known, and lodging may be valued also. If you think you are charged too dear, you can have redress by applying to the burgomaster. At Delft, forgetful of this precaution, and coming in very late to an inn, I ordered supper, and went in haste to bed, to rise early the next morning and proceed on my journey. There was nothing in the house but eggs and spinnage, and a few slices of dried bacon, and bread and cheese: to this sumptuous regale I added a pint of wine. In the morning the landlady charged me above a pound sterling; and when I complained of the extravagance of the bill, she desired to look it over, and returned it to me with about ten or twelve pence added to it, saying, that she had omitted charging some articles. I went to the burgomaster to complain, who informed [p50] me that if I had made an agreement he would have punished the landlady; but as the case stood, it was not in his power. Another precaution is highly necessary when you get out of the track scoots to go in the inn: if you have a trunk and two or three bundles, put them all into one wheelbarrow; for, if you are not on your guard when your trunk is in the wheelbarrow, the porters will take each one bundle; and if it be only so light a thing as a hat-box, you must pay them the same as the man who wheels your trunk.

I will give the reader another instance of the extortion and brutality of the people; I mean only of the lower orders. If you take a walk out from your inn, and happen to lose your way, and you ask any common person in the [p51] street, which is the way to such an inn? mentioning the sign of it; instead of telling you to turn either to the right or left, his reply is, I will go with you there for a shilling. In France, if you meet the meanest object in the street and ask him such a question, he is over-studious in describing the way. In Holland, you must go into some reputable shop to inquire; or address yourself to some well-dressed man, or you may walk round and round the town and never find your lodgings. Notwithstanding these impositions, the laws in Holland are excellent; and if you are acquainted with the customs of the country, you can ever have redress: and one supreme blessing the inhabitants of this country enjoy; there is no imprisonment for debt, which, with all our boasted liberty, is the curse and disgrace of Old England.

[p52] The second part of this Chapter, whose importance, I trust, the world cannot deny, and which, I presume, is already become highly interesting to every reader of taste and discernment, will be found in its appropriate situation in the Second Volume.

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Notes:

¹ I except dancing-dogs by profession. [ back ]